How bad is mummy guilt? I have to pull my head in regularly to remember I am not superwoman and simply cannot do everything all the time.
I feel guilty for not reading a book, saying "sorry I can't play with you right now" and for occasionally being late for school pick up. I feel guilty for forgetting I was supposed to make a cubby house for them that morning, for doing baked beans on toast now and then for dinner and for being tired and grumpy. I I feel guilty for not having enough hours in the day and spending extra time doing craft and writing and building lego towers all of the time. I feel guilty for losing my sh*t sometimes, for harsh penalties and consequences and for not going swimming with them.
Mum guilt is the worst. The. Worst. Thing. Ever.
What I am very conscious of is when I am feeling overwhelmed and loaded with Mum guilt is that I do not transfer my feelings over to the kids. I recently saw the image below and it broke my heart into pieces. I shared it on both my business pages on facebook and received and overwhelming response.
When somebody is feeling guilty or anxious within themselves it is very normal to criticise others due to their feelings of inadequacy. For the short term it my feel self satisfying, but in fact you are breaking somebody's spirit, destroying their self belief and confidence and self love.
For an adult to relearn to love themselves it is hard, really hard, but for an innocent child it is soul destroying and can be something that they cannot simply snap out of or even comprehend how to.
I am not saying never tell them off, give them consequences or pull them up for choosing the wrong behaviour. There is constant criticism and then there is constructive criticism. Choose to motivate your children in a positive way. Choose to encourage them with the right choices. Help them when they are struggling with a task, rather than wait until they finish and criticise them.
Think about the powerful message above and how you can be sure you install self love, self belief and strength in your children daily.
Nobody likes to be told they aren't good enough all day long.
Happy Weekend All,
Mumma O x