Back to school. A complete mixture of emotions. I’m proud of him, but sad he’s grown up so fast. I feel a bit rushed some days and then in control on others. Some days I am losing my mind and feel so angry that nobody is listening. They’re tired by the end of the week. Hang on, who am I kidding, after day one the wheels were falling off from big days.
I hate ‘losing my shit’ as the guilt afterwards just kills me, but as a Mum it happens. Sometimes a little and sometimes a lot.
I often hear “oh Odette, you’re so placid and organised, I can’t imagine you being angry” hahaha. I am laughing out loud. Yes I’m patient and organised, but by crikey I get angry. Ask my neighbours. I’m sure they all run in and pull the curtains, put their PJs on and brush their teeth when they hear me. I’m loud and I mean business.
I’ve always been quite ‘strict’ I’d say. Well, that’s the best word I can find for my mothering style. If I lay out a consequence I usually follow through. Everything from time out, smacks, toys in the bin/put away, no desert all happens in our house. Some things work better than others, depending on which child and the circumstances.
I’m not sure if I’m the mum I always pictured I’d be. I know I love being a mum more than anything. What an honour, but I had no idea how challenging it would be. From the lack of sleep, to battling little personalities, thinking about being a good role model and teaching them good morals and values, working to routines and keeping everyone well rested, well fed and happy... the list goes on.
Deep down, the biggest challenge in my heart is watching them grow. I cannot believe how time flies. My heart is so full of pride but so heavy from time already passed.
Each day I try and stop and sit down with both my kids and look them in the eye and give them a big kiss and cuddle. We as Mums and Dads are so busy, the kisses and cuddles are often for hello and goodbye, not just because. A 1 minute little connection with your child puts a stop on the clock and you can both just be for a teeny bit.
Good luck getting back into the craziness, the routine and the homework, kids friends, pick ups, drop offs and driving over the countryside.
My challenge to you is to spend 1 minute with each child just being there in a moment. Some eye contact, an “I love you”, a cuddle or a quick “I’m proud of you” or “how was your day” without saying it as you walk on by being busy.
Just one minute. It’s nothing in the scheme of things, but you wait and watch time stand still for that minute.
Big back to school hugs for you all,
Mumma O x